Tuesday, July 1, 2008

The Essence of Me :)

Hello to everyone reading my blog!
My name is Avital (for online purposes) which is a Hebrew name that means "God is my sustainer". I took on this name for the obvious reason that throughout the turbulent times in my life, God (HaShem, Adonai, YHVH: names that will be used interchangeably) kept me going. Him alone. I came to Christianity in a weird way. I was raised Catholic and utterly rejected the church and its traditions from an early age. During my confirmation years I turned to many religions to find that inner peace I so desperately desired. I mingled in Judaism, Buddhism, Islam, Taoism, etc. and continued to deny Christ. Those two years were the most unhappy years of my life. Now that may sound strange since I am quite young, a teenager still, but life is tough in high school when you don't have God to turn to; the pressures of our lives are everywhere and I had trouble, and still do, fighting temptation. I believe I was running from Christ due to my hatred for the Church; I hated praying to saints and asking an elderly man to forgive me for sins he had no business knowing. It was finally in my desperation I called out to the God of the universe and asked him, whoever he was, to show me his truth, to show me how he wanted me to live my life, and in exchange, I would devote myself to that path. And I did find Christ, in 2007 during the Festival of Lights. Yes, on Hanukkah.

I have been a practicing Messianic since then (Meaning I follow the 613 mitzvot of the Old Testament, eat kosher, and celebrate the OT feasts), but have been pulled toward various Christian beliefs. Anabaptists have intrigued me for quite some time, but it hadn't fully interested me until a week ago. Through plain living I have found Yeshua (Jesus) more; I have experienced a deeper love and appreciation for his sacrifice in my life. I feel so connected to God when I simply sit on a swing and think and pray. Watching the beauty of his creation and taking a breather from the rat race of our society. I really feel like I have been missing out on what I am here on earth for: to Love God!

So here I am. Completely confused and basically alone. I don't have a community to turn to. My family and friends don't appreciate (and some don't even believe) in God like I do. Some say I am a crazy and closed minded Christian lunatic. And as much as the mockery hurts, I know I must endure it. Its the persecution all true Christians face and I am willing to take up my cross. Hopefully I will be able to find some fellow Christians here to learn from and share my experiences. I have MANY questions, so help/advice will be greatly appreciated! :)
May God Bless you all & bring you great Shalom~