I had this elaborate plan to post on Good Friday and Easter last week and when that failed, I had wanted to give a few little updates on my life & spiritual journey, but that was a bust. I find it hard to balance school and my blog now...as the semester is winding down and assignments are flooding in non-stop. I thought I would get a break, but no such luck.
On top of school work wearing me out, my friends are running me down even more. There have been instances of personal property being tampered with (my own unfortunately), people gossiping any chance they get, and people directly their liberal comment at me. I don't want to hear their opinions, so why do they force me to listen?
I'll be eating lunch and one of them comes up to me and tells me if the Catholic Church would just accept gays & homosexuality and not force celibacy on priests, children wouldn't be abused. OK so you're telling me that all these priests, who are presumably gay, were FORCED to be religious men and practice abstinence? Thus any gay man on the planet who takes a vow of chastity will become a pedophile and that is suddenly NOT the individual's fault, but the Church's?!!! We just suppressed his sexual identity and now the evil church should pay for his sins.
And then we were reading an article about a teen who had a baby and now resents him and ponders what her life would have been like if she had an abortion. I'm sorry, but that is SAD. You have a precious baby and now think "if I had gotten rid of you sooner, I could be having fun right now!" Selfish. But my friend had to pipe up and tell me how sorry she feels for the girl, that baby ruined her life! If she was in that situation, abortion would have been the only option.
I become so enraged when I hear these things. I don't even respond to them anymore, I just shrug to them, or make an excuse to leave the room. I'm trying to practice patience and forgiveness, but it's so difficult in this atmosphere. Maybe God put me here for a reason...He knew I needed work in these areas and He sure picked the best suite on campus to get me practicing. I'm not depressed or anything, I'm just so sad, so often being here. I get frustrated with God sometimes...I just want a break from these people, but I can never escape.
Please pray for me, that I get through this semester a better Christian and a better person.
I don't want to become bitter!
Peace & Blessings always~