I had this elaborate plan to post on Good Friday and Easter last week and when that failed, I had wanted to give a few little updates on my life & spiritual journey, but that was a bust. I find it hard to balance school and my blog now...as the semester is winding down and assignments are flooding in non-stop. I thought I would get a break, but no such luck.
On top of school work wearing me out, my friends are running me down even more. There have been instances of personal property being tampered with (my own unfortunately), people gossiping any chance they get, and people directly their liberal comment at me. I don't want to hear their opinions, so why do they force me to listen?
I'll be eating lunch and one of them comes up to me and tells me if the Catholic Church would just accept gays & homosexuality and not force celibacy on priests, children wouldn't be abused. OK so you're telling me that all these priests, who are presumably gay, were FORCED to be religious men and practice abstinence? Thus any gay man on the planet who takes a vow of chastity will become a pedophile and that is suddenly NOT the individual's fault, but the Church's?!!! We just suppressed his sexual identity and now the evil church should pay for his sins.
And then we were reading an article about a teen who had a baby and now resents him and ponders what her life would have been like if she had an abortion. I'm sorry, but that is SAD. You have a precious baby and now think "if I had gotten rid of you sooner, I could be having fun right now!" Selfish. But my friend had to pipe up and tell me how sorry she feels for the girl, that baby ruined her life! If she was in that situation, abortion would have been the only option.
I become so enraged when I hear these things. I don't even respond to them anymore, I just shrug to them, or make an excuse to leave the room. I'm trying to practice patience and forgiveness, but it's so difficult in this atmosphere. Maybe God put me here for a reason...He knew I needed work in these areas and He sure picked the best suite on campus to get me practicing. I'm not depressed or anything, I'm just so sad, so often being here. I get frustrated with God sometimes...I just want a break from these people, but I can never escape.
Please pray for me, that I get through this semester a better Christian and a better person.
I don't want to become bitter!
Peace & Blessings always~
RA
I am a young girl striving to separate herself from the allure of the world in the hopes of attaining a peaceful & God-fearing life. I would love to share my experiences as a testimony to my faith. May God keep you all. Pax Vobiscum.
5 comments:
This is a tough time for dedicated Catholics, especially with the 40-year-old abuse scandals that are being dug up and the lie-mongering by the New York Times and Associated Press.
Sure, the Catholic Church could accept homosexuality and not force celibacy on priests. Then we'd be...what, Anglicans? Modern society does not like tradition and the fact that there are absolutes in the world. It wants everything--particularly morality--to be relative. That just isn't the way the world works. Frankly, it seems like the secular world is increasingly made up of morons (I know, that's probably not actually true) and it's so frustrating to deal with them.
I've taken a lot of junk from non-Catholics about my faith. If I'm in the mood to argue I'll go toe-to-toe, but I've found that the best responses are often ones that show that you support the Church but do not invite argument. "I'm sorry you feel that way" can be a pretty good one.
Luckily, there is such a thing as righteous anger. I agree with you that it's hard not to become bitter. It's like...can't people see how ridiculous they're being?
There are some quotes from St. Julian of Norwich that I like at times like this:
"He did not say 'You shall not be tempest-tossed, you shall not be work-weary, you shall not be discomforted'. But he did say, 'You shall not be overcome.' God wants us to heed these words so that we shall always be strong in trust, both is sorrow and in joy."
"All shall be well
and all shall be well
and all manner of things shall be well."
Fr. Stan Fortuna's "What's Up Window" and weekly blessing are always good mood-lifters, too.
http://www.francescoproductions.com/
Celibacy may be part of tradition, though you rightly point out that no one has to go to seminary, take that vow and become a priest. But the part about homosexuality - that has nothing to do with tradition. It's right there in black-and-white in the Bible.
While we are on the subject, recently I came across a blog which put the abuse thing in perspective. Apparently a much higher percentage of men outside the celibate clergy are accused of sexual abuse of some kind - they put the figure at 1 in 10. Of course, even one incident anywhere is too many. But hey - does the fact that daddies and other family members do that kind of thing mean that marriage or fatherhood causes sexual abuse?
And for myself, I would say that so many people are making the celibate life work, living a life of impartial love for everyone, that it can't be an accident. Even people who aren't bound by any vows, even people who aren't even Catholic (such as yours truly - at 45 years of age and counting).
And abortion - true, the matter is not discussed specifically and plainly in the Bible, but there's enough there to make it pretty clear that it involves killing another human being regardless of how far along the child's development has progressed. You don't need tradition to conclude that abortion is wrong.
PS I know what it's like to be persecuted for one's views on sexual morality. At a certain school I attended here in Poland some years ago, I and one other Christian boy were known for being particularly outspoken in our faith. And one evening, I came home to find someone had posted a notice on the bulletin board in the lobby of the dormitory representing that this Christian boy was taking orders from the general public for my, um, 'services'. Another time, I came home to find that someone had affixed a condom - for the sake of decency, I will not say in what condition - to my doorknob. Nowadays I can calmly say, 'Mm hmm, evidently someone had a really warped sense of humor' and even feel sorry for them that they had such a sick mind. But no, it was NOT funny at the time...
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/do-the-right-thing/201003/six-important-points-you-dont-hear-about-regarding-clergy-sexual-abus
thank you for all your posts! They've been an encouragement to me and my situation. And that link was awesome Joseph, I'll be sharing it.
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