Friday, October 9, 2009

Head Covering Trials!

I will not lie...I have not been faithfully covering my head everyday like I originally planned to. I mentioned earlier I had trouble keeping many of my coverings on because my hair is pretty soft and the coverings would just slip off. So I ended up bobby-pinning them down with the aid of a few clips....and they still would not stay put! Not to mention, the multitude of bobby-pins really hurt. I was relieved to take off my covering and that's not the feeling I wanted to obtain through obedience to God's will. I want to be excited to cover each morning, I want to walk out of my dorm with confidence that I am an obedient servant of the Lord, I want to feel the constant reminder upon my head so that I can make as many Christ-minded decisions as I can. When I wear the veil, I believe I do make better decisions.

So yesterday, I sat down and thought about my situation. I knew my current route was not proving to be very fruitful. The wide headband coverings are nice, but I needed to start covering more head so that the veil stayed in place throughout my classes and my entire day. Especially during mass! I just didn't know what style to try because a lot of the ones I love (that cover a lot of surface area) are very ethnic/religious. I love the Tiechel styles the Jewish women wear, I love the Hijab of Islam, and I love the Catholic Mantilla. As I was thinking this...I kid you not, a girl walks by with a covered head. She's not religious, *I think*, but she wears this bun/wrap covering a lot and it's ADORABLE! It reminded me of a muslim girl on campus who wears a similar wrap, although it doesn't follow the full hijab code since her neck shows and her hair slightly does at times too. I immediately came to my room to try it out. And I loved it! I have a whole bag of scarves, in tons of colors, that I have been itching to use. The thing was, was that I was alone. I loved it behind the comfort of my locked door. I knew I had to show someone. I had to make a statement or else I would never leave my room and cover so fully.

I debated for a good 5 minutes whether or not I should even touch my door knob and announce to the common room my new "hair" style. I would grip the cold metal knob and then chicken out. I was nervous to the point of giving up; I was shaking and fearful of being rejected. My room mates already think I am extremely traditional and a little too religious as it was (when they learned I prayed the rosary, it was like Christian overkill!); would they attribute my head covering as religious fanaticism too? Out of no where, I swung the door open. There was no turning back. I had my hair completely covered in a pinky, silvery, blackish scarf while wearing a long sleeve shirt and jeans. And I felt naked. All I could say was "How cute is this?" I was still shaking as I waited for their response and I could feel my cheeks begin to burn with embarrassment as their eyes studied me. My friend said "Wow, that is really cute!" Phew! I sighed quick, smiled, and told her how I saw a girl wearing her scarf like this outside and I wanted to try it. She said she had seen it before and liked it a lot. I was, needless to say, stunned!

I am so excited to wear this style to mass Sunday. I'll wear a bandanna tomorrow, they always stay put. The thing with them is, if I wear them too often, I'll look like a hippie. Or a biker chick. haha!

On some random notes...I prayed a rosary a little while before this post. It brought me to tears! I loved it! I kept thinking of the boy that gave the speech on the rosary last week, and how he said his teacher started praying the rosary during a hardship. His son was in the last stages of Leukemia and the doctors said to start preparing because death was inevitable. His son miraculously lived, graduated, and remains cancer free without any repercussions of the illness. How great is Adonoi? And how sweet is prayer? :) I also had my parents visit me last weekend and they bought me a crucifix necklace at a local craft fair here and I have been wearing it everyday. I simply love it :) And the Lord has been blessing me at every chance He gets here! I have handed in a paper (which I thought was cheesy and ... worthless) and the teacher gave me an A-. He said he NEVER likes to give A's to students, especially on the first assignment, but he loved me piece. I was speechless. And then I took a french test, which once again I thought I failed, and I got a 97.5! I was just about to give up on French too...maybe I am on the right path. But seriously, Praise His Name!! I feel very reassured at this stage in my life...even while all my friends are feeling the pressures of midterms, I am surprisingly relaxed. I am not afraid at all!

Here is what it looks like (I got the picture from tznius. com though)


I hope this update makes up for the lack of posts!
I pray that you all are enjoying life as much as I am
May Adonai bless and keep you all~
R.A

OH! and Congratulations to Josh and Anna Duggar on the birth of their daughter yesterday! How sweet, I cannot wait for that season of my life ;) If God wills it for me. heehee

13 comments:

Mama Kalila said...

I am so glad I found your blog...

Have you tried putting an underscarf under whichever you wear? Seriously that helps mine stay in place.. I have slippery hair too.. is baby fine and just obnoxious lol. I am having a hard time covering full time too though. Part of me feels like I should, but I'm struggling with it. My favourite styles (right now) are hijab and tichel... Hijab is my fav of the two but I've been doing the tichel more lately for various reasons.

That is great to hear someone so emotional about praying the rosary. I know I need to just jump back in with that too...

Stacy aka Fahiima said...

Amazing and inspiring! I've had a hard time covering as much lately too. I think it partly not knowing any other ladies that cover at our congregation. My Muslim friends cover, and I do so more when I'm with them, but I don't really have any real-life Christian/Messianic/whatever friends who cover at the moment. Its a trial, but I do feel like I act more modestly and ladylike when I'm covered too.

The Duggars are great! I know its not the right thing for me to have that many kids, but they are really good parents, so its cool to see how they passed their values onto their next generation.

Shalom u'vrakhah. (peace and blessings!)

Mama Kalila said...

:-) I have to throw in a Duggar comment now lol. I don't necessarily think its wrong for them to have so many kids... They can certainly afford it. Their motivations for having quite that size are questionable (quiverful movement)... but as a general rule I cant argue because I dont believe in birth control either.

caraboska said...

Yes, I was just going to say - get a nice amira hijab or two online. I've got a two-piece one with a few underscarves in different colors. Then you can drape a nice scarf very artistically over that, no one has to even know it's religious unless you tell them, especially if you put a nice hat on, either over the amira, or over amira + scarf :)

A Covered Sister said...

I am glad that you found a covering that works for you. I am a bit mad that you didn't post a picture of it though! *lol*

It sounds unbelievable, but the same types of things were happening to me during my full-time covering experiment. Despite the blessings, I still go back and forth over covering full time. Currently, my husband is not in favor of it so I am just trusting that God will direct me on this in His time.

R.A.~ said...

Hey ladies thank you all for the support! :) I did want to post a picture and I think I still will. I just have a hard time with photos on my laptop for some reason...but I'm going home today and I'll have the chance :)

I'll be posting again soon, just after midterms are over! ahh

Alison said...

Isn't amazing how the Lord works when we are obedient to his will in our lives! I too went through a similar experience many years ago. However I was married and it was my husband who asked me to cover. I too have fine hair and have a problem with scarves and head bands staying on. Do you crochet? My favorite headcovering is a simple triangle with strings attached (so you can tighten or loosen it as desired). In church I am asked what it is I am wearing and I reply a headcovering. May God Bless you as you continue to to submit to God's will in your life.

Rainy said...

I wanted to comment on what you said about the tiechel having an 'ethnic' component. I hear this a lot from women who cover, that they don't want to represent themselves as being from a faith they are not - generally from a desire to be respectful of others, etc. As a Jewish woman who covers and wears tiechels almost every day, I always appreciate this sentiment, but want to assure the person in question that I would *never* be offended at someone choosing to cover their head in a way that originated with my culture. I just think they are brave and fantastic for having the courage of their convictions.

There's a really nice site I like called Distinctive Head Coverings - http://www.distinctivehaircoverings.com/store/index.html - what you might like to try in lieu of pins are the "scarf grabbers" she makes. They slip on under your headscarf and the nap of the velvet grips your hair on one side and the scarf on the other. No slippage! They're very affordable, gentle on the hair, and comfortable to wear.

Good luck. It is hard and scary to cover at first. When I began covering my head, I was very nervous, but now it is just a part of me and I can't imagine living any other way.

caraboska said...

Nice web site, Rainy. Definite thumbs up.

R.A.~ said...

Thanks for posting that website! I liked their head coverings a lot and the scarf grabber idea is interesting. I may be investing in one...hmm :)

Kristina Maryam said...

Hi! First off, congrats on being brave enough to cover! I used to be a christian but converted to Islam a few years ago and I remember having the same trouble trying to get my scarves to stay on properly... anyway, I wanted to add to what someone already mentioned about underscarves.

They work GREAT! It's basically just a wide hair band (any regular cotton hair band will work). Since the hair band isn't slippery, when you wear a scarf it sits on that and therefore it doesn't slip anywhere. it also allows you to combine colors if you want, like having a pink hairband under a black scarf and you pus the scarf back an inch or so to let the pink band show if you want..anyway, just a thought.

Good luck!

Anonymous said...

I have handed in a paper (which I thought was cheesy and ... worthless) and the teacher gave me an A-. He said he NEVER likes to give A's to students, especially on the first assignment, but he loved me piece. I was speechless. And then I took a french test, which once again I thought I failed, and I got a 97.5!


same thing happens with me sis. yup, they are signs?!
can u see sis? isnt that amazing???
the other day sis i was having aethiestic thoughts and sis I saw A COMET???!!!
isnt that cool?
there is Someone up there...willing to guide us only but if we trust...and stopping acting like cowardly or hypocritic.

Lucy said...

The thing was, was that I was alone. I loved it behind the comfort of my locked door. I knew I had to show someone. I had to make a statement or else I would never leave my room and cover so fully.

I debated for a good 5 minutes whether or not I should even touch my door knob and announce to the common room my new "hair" style. I would grip the cold metal knob and then chicken out. I was nervous to the point of giving up; I was shaking and fearful of being rejected. My room mates already think I am extremely traditional and a little too religious as it was (when they learned I prayed the rosary, it was like Christian overkill!); would they attribute my head covering as religious fanaticism too?


Sounds like me!I am getting braver though.