I will not lie...I have not been faithfully covering my head everyday like I originally planned to. I mentioned earlier I had trouble keeping many of my coverings on because my hair is pretty soft and the coverings would just slip off. So I ended up bobby-pinning them down with the aid of a few clips....and they still would not stay put! Not to mention, the multitude of bobby-pins really hurt. I was relieved to take off my covering and that's not the feeling I wanted to obtain through obedience to God's will. I want to be excited to cover each morning, I want to walk out of my dorm with confidence that I am an obedient servant of the Lord, I want to feel the constant reminder upon my head so that I can make as many Christ-minded decisions as I can. When I wear the veil, I believe I do make better decisions.
So yesterday, I sat down and thought about my situation. I knew my current route was not proving to be very fruitful. The wide headband coverings are nice, but I needed to start covering more head so that the veil stayed in place throughout my classes and my entire day. Especially during mass! I just didn't know what style to try because a lot of the ones I love (that cover a lot of surface area) are very ethnic/religious. I love the Tiechel styles the Jewish women wear, I love the Hijab of Islam, and I love the Catholic Mantilla. As I was thinking this...I kid you not, a girl walks by with a covered head. She's not religious, *I think*, but she wears this bun/wrap covering a lot and it's ADORABLE! It reminded me of a muslim girl on campus who wears a similar wrap, although it doesn't follow the full hijab code since her neck shows and her hair slightly does at times too. I immediately came to my room to try it out. And I loved it! I have a whole bag of scarves, in tons of colors, that I have been itching to use. The thing was, was that I was alone. I loved it behind the comfort of my locked door. I knew I had to show someone. I had to make a statement or else I would never leave my room and cover so fully.
I debated for a good 5 minutes whether or not I should even touch my door knob and announce to the common room my new "hair" style. I would grip the cold metal knob and then chicken out. I was nervous to the point of giving up; I was shaking and fearful of being rejected. My room mates already think I am extremely traditional and a little too religious as it was (when they learned I prayed the rosary, it was like Christian overkill!); would they attribute my head covering as religious fanaticism too? Out of no where, I swung the door open. There was no turning back. I had my hair completely covered in a pinky, silvery, blackish scarf while wearing a long sleeve shirt and jeans. And I felt naked. All I could say was "How cute is this?" I was still shaking as I waited for their response and I could feel my cheeks begin to burn with embarrassment as their eyes studied me. My friend said "Wow, that is really cute!" Phew! I sighed quick, smiled, and told her how I saw a girl wearing her scarf like this outside and I wanted to try it. She said she had seen it before and liked it a lot. I was, needless to say, stunned!
I am so excited to wear this style to mass Sunday. I'll wear a bandanna tomorrow, they always stay put. The thing with them is, if I wear them too often, I'll look like a hippie. Or a biker chick. haha!
On some random notes...I prayed a rosary a little while before this post. It brought me to tears! I loved it! I kept thinking of the boy that gave the speech on the rosary last week, and how he said his teacher started praying the rosary during a hardship. His son was in the last stages of Leukemia and the doctors said to start preparing because death was inevitable. His son miraculously lived, graduated, and remains cancer free without any repercussions of the illness. How great is Adonoi? And how sweet is prayer? :) I also had my parents visit me last weekend and they bought me a crucifix necklace at a local craft fair here and I have been wearing it everyday. I simply love it :) And the Lord has been blessing me at every chance He gets here! I have handed in a paper (which I thought was cheesy and ... worthless) and the teacher gave me an A-. He said he NEVER likes to give A's to students, especially on the first assignment, but he loved me piece. I was speechless. And then I took a french test, which once again I thought I failed, and I got a 97.5! I was just about to give up on French too...maybe I am on the right path. But seriously, Praise His Name!! I feel very reassured at this stage in my life...even while all my friends are feeling the pressures of midterms, I am surprisingly relaxed. I am not afraid at all!
Here is what it looks like (I got the picture from tznius. com though)
I hope this update makes up for the lack of posts!
I pray that you all are enjoying life as much as I am
May Adonai bless and keep you all~
OH! and Congratulations to Josh and Anna Duggar on the birth of their daughter yesterday! How sweet, I cannot wait for that season of my life ;) If God wills it for me. heehee