Thursday, November 12, 2009

On Being Single

For the longest time I have viewed being single as a not so important time in a Catholic's (or any Christian's) life. I had read some blogs by fellow young godly ladies who would rave about how special this period is with the Lord, and I just never bought into it. I figured that when you're single, you need to not only build your relationship with God alone, without the support of another helping you along the way, but you also have to battle the temptations that come with purity. I thought it was just one big giant test and when you've had enough YHVH will bless you and send your partner to you. That way you ALWAYS have the spiritual encouragement and love you really need to make it through this world firm in your faith.

This Monday however, I learned something much different. At my weekly Catholic ministry meeting, a couple came in to talk about Catholic dating and marriage. (A topic right up my alley!) They laid it right out for us: marriage is not a fairy tale. Now, I knew that marriage was going to have it's hard moments, just as any relationship has. But I don't know, it must have been the way they described it that caused me to feel this wave of revelation. They said when you're single you're actually in a relationship and that's with Jesus. This period is truly special and precious, and should not be wasted, as it mirrors a human marriage. In a "human" marriage you have to give yourself, 100%, to the spouse, and vice versa, because you are one entity. You need to share your thoughts, fears, mistakes, and dreams. Everything. Naturally, us girls all "awwed" but then they made the connection: this is what we should be doing now too, but just not with a man, but God. That's where our hearts need to be, we should be pouring our everything into our relationship with God, because when we get married, our priorities change. God OF COURSE comes first! But now you have another soul to care for and share with.

This talk kind of brought me up out of my daze and I felt a little guilty. I've been severely neglecting my prayer life lately (though I have been covering everyday...weird how I let that happen). I pray every morning and everynight, but I haven't been doing a daily rosary, or read my Bible. I'm not spending the quality time with my Savior that I should be. College is really chaotic, I was worrying over my H1N1 vaccine, I've been trying to cope with my separation anxiety, dealing with my moody room mates, second guessing my French major because I am worrying if I can realistically become fluent in the 4 years here, and second guessing my school entirely...I'm so overwhelmed. These aren't excuses for cutting out God-time, but it's where I am at right now. I so desperately want to leave school, leave getting a degree/job, and travel to Norway where I can get a little cottage near the fjords and devote every waking minute to my faith. That'd be paradise. But alas, that all costs $$ and I am but a broke college student. So in reality, I need to push through this semester and make every effort to start back up.

Bottom line: all the single ladies, don't ever take for granted your single-ness (haha) because as of now, you are all God's and he so desperately wants to share every moment with you.

P.S.- What is with this Copenhagen treaty I've been hearing about!?
Pax to All
~ R.A.


~Joseph the Worker said...

It's also interesting to note that the Catholic Church recognizes that some people may be called to a single life as a vocation (and I don't mean as a priest or religious)

caraboska said...

Hear, hear! I'm 45 years old and have been living this life for a LONG time. You get to learn how to love everyone pretty much the same. I'm very happy with my single experience, and let's say I know what it is to wake up in the middle of the night, and know that I am not alone - that God is there with me, in much the same way my husband would be if I had a human husband.

College level language courses go twice as fast as high school, so that you can become fluent in two years. Or, in the case of an intensive course that goes even twice that fast, or in the case of using summer school courses for part of that time, it can even happen in one year. Especially with something like French, which is relatively closely related to English. I did something like this with Italian myself when I was in college. In high school, on the other hand, it took me maybe four years of instruction, but I walked out fluent in both French and German. So I would not be worried about that if I were you, as long as the classes you are taking are actually conducted in French from the beginning. This is important. Enough so that frankly, if you are serious about acquiring French (or any other language) and the classes are not being conducted *in French* (or [insert target language], I would consider that reason to transfer to another school.

Stacy aka Fahiima said...

One of my college profs has been single her whole life too. She adopted a 16yr old a few years ago and was able to have someone to pour her years of experience into.

Even if it just ends up being a couple years for you, I think that the experiences living with roommates and college life.

I finished college married, but it does make it harder to focus sometimes.