Saturday, August 22, 2009

All Settled In

So here I am, sitting at my desk in my dorm! I can't believe I've been here 3 days already. Time flew by, and oddly enough this has been the first time I have been alone and had time to make a post.

My school is pretty liberal, which I don't/wouldn't have minded if it wasn't shoved in my face so much. We had to watch a play at orientation in the summer about homosexuality and that I MUST accept it because it's natural and any other form of thought is bigotry. Needless to say I was offended. And whenever people talk about it I just sit back and listen. I will not nod to enable them or voice my opinion in protest. It's the same with all the sex/drugs/and partying going on too though. A lot of it is sinful, but whatever I say will only instill anger and won't change them. (I've learned that the hard way) They even give out condoms as poker chips in the CAMPUS RUN casino night! what are you serious!?

The funny thing is though, the school does all this work for "liberating" its students and yet they completely forget, or perhaps it's ignore, the religious body on campus. I know Ramadan has started and I noticed a few muslim students walking around. And then it hit me. The dining hall didn't open until 11:30 today. Forget the fact that I was starving, but the muslims didn't get to eat before dawn and the hall closes before the sunsets today. Even though the hours are weird because it's move in/orientation weekend, how is that fair?! The students in this situation obviously must have brought their own food, but I find this wrong that they aren't provided for. It's the same for me though, I want to keep kosher (biblically, not rabbinically) and the only kosher food is served on Shabbat. Once a week. And the school doesn't offer it I think, i believe the off-campus Chabad does. Crazy, no?

I went to a little carnival the school held where local shops and banks and clubs gave out free things and food (yum!). My favorite part was the religious organizations represented. I saw a sweet little baby and I immediately went running haha and to my surprise I ran into her Orthodox Jewish mother. Her husband was the Chabad director and they had games and a mailing list and they invited me to services and Shabbat dinner. My heart melted! I wanted to go so bad!! My excitement was soon gone when I looked to my right and realized I had to go to the campus functions with my friends. Once school starts I will go to services and Shabbat dinner, even if the students don't acknowledge Yeshua, they uphold the Torah. The revere the Word and the Word is God.

I was then called over by the Crusade for Christ ministry and they gave me a whole bag of goodies I truly appreciated. The man was nice and I didn't mind his evangelizing since I wanted to know what his club had to offer. But my room mate...oh you should have seen her face. Sheer uncomfort! She looked attacked, scared, and offended. The same way I feel when the staff put on their programs.

I see so much opportunity for religious growth here, and yet so many traps. I have been hanging out with the boy I met here who is religious. And while I have enjoyed having a Christian friend (my only one so far) I just have trouble getting past the different mindframes. It's crazy how we are both very religious and we consider ourselves very Christian...yet we don't agree on so much. It just proves the scripture

"Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it. -- Matthew 7:13-14

"Someone asked him, "Lord, are only a few people going to be saved?"

"Make every effort to enter through the narrow door, because many, I tell you, will try to enter and will not be able to. Once the owner of the house gets up and closes the door, you will stand outside knocking and pleading, 'Sir, open the door for us.'
"But he will answer, 'I don't know you or where you come from.'
-- Luke 13:23-25

I am not saying he's a bad person and will go to hell, but there are so many churches, so many doctrines due to man's perversion of the word, and so many cover ups in the Bible! Oh we should be modest, chaste, virtuous, and strive for good? Well that doesn't fit into my lifestyle. Hopefully I will find my niche. I will do it with or without a friend. Speaking of which I have to switch from my little headband coverings to bigger ones. I just need some time. it's hard to wear them and not look like a cancer's harder for Christians because people will be like why are you wearing that on your head? and our answer is meaningless because the head scarf seems to be a muslim thing only...or to cover a bald head. :/ However...that's a good way to spread God's Word. hmmm....

Baruch HaShem for every blessing he has given me :)
(this took me 2 hours to write distracting)


Stacy aka Fahiima said...

I'm glad you made it to school safely! I had a brunch where I got to know some Messianic ladies here today. They were all really nice and so now I feel like I have a few more friends here.

Your post makes me glad I went to a Christian school. We made fun of the fact that most of the students had a curfew (I was in the honor dorm and did not), and how we had to go to chapel, but it was better than being inundated with drunk partying every weekend. I visited friends at other schools and felt somewhat uncomfortable in the dorms.
Is your floor at least female only? I don't get the whole idea of having male and female rooms right next to each other. Just asking for lots of bad stuff to happen.
Anyway, you should get to know the Chabad people. They are really nice and more genuine about their Torah observance than other sects from what I've seen. I did commute to a private secular school for a year before transferring to the christian one and went to a few things at Hillel, but they were kind of weird. I went to a Passover seder at a different Hillel when I lived in MN and it was led by a lesbian rabbi. So to make it short, Chabad will be a better fit for you than Hillel as far as Jewish organizations.

caraboska said...

Baruch haShem that you are settled in! I wonder if there's a Messianic congregation anywhere near your school? I hadn't realized Hillel was quite that liberal; I suppose you'll want to steer clear of it... But the Messianic bit is likely to be a bit... interesting if you start hanging with the Chabad crowd. Hmm. Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your path straight.

Rubber said...

wonderful to know u having a hard time with all this too.